7.30.2010

On Relationships

The following excerpt on having harmonious relationships is taken from Loving in the Moment: Moving from Ego to Essence in Relationships by Gina Lake at Radical Happiness.
There are two ways to keep out of trouble in our relationships. The first is to ignore our own conditioning—our desires and ideas about how things should be. The second is to ignore or accommodate our partner's conditioning. Trouble starts when we are attached to having our own conditioning met, when we try to change our partner's conditioning, or when we let it trigger ours. So much of the conditioning that causes difficulties in relationships is very minor and wouldn't be a problem if we would let our partner do things the way he or she does them, without trying to change it just because it's different from how we do things. Does it really matter if your partner doesn't wring out the dishrag after using it? Or leaves hair or toothpaste in the sink? Or has bad table manners? Or drives too cautiously? Or insists on reading the newspaper in the morning before doing anything else? These and so many other little things that annoy us in relationship are just not important. They are not more important than love. Can you just let them go? Can you just let your partner be the way he or she is?

If you can, the rewards are great. He or she will surely love you. Acceptance allows your partner to relax and just be. It allows him or her to drop into Essence, and from Essence love flows. This acceptance will come back to you, so you can just relax and be in Essence too. Acceptance is quite simple, really, but it's powerful. It's wise not to underestimate its importance in relationships. Acceptance is a quality of Essence, and when you choose it, you choose Essence over the ego.

In many cases, accepting our partner's way of being is just a matter of counteracting any complaints the ego has with a positive statement of acceptance, such as, "Let it be," "Everything is perfect," "Love is more important than this," or "He's just the way he is." These are expressions of truth from Essence, and we can use expressions like these to neutralize or change our relationship to our egoic mind, which judges and resists the many ways our partner is different from us. We can remind ourselves: "That's just the ego. There it goes again, trying to cause trouble!" Conflict is not inevitable in relationships, and we can learn to avoid it through ignoring our partner's conditioning and letting him or her just be the way he or she is. This is one of the greatest gifts we can give someone.

As part of this acceptance, we can even go along with our partner's conditioning (desires) sometimes, out of kindness. For instance, if your partner wants you to drive a little faster, why not? Or if she wants you to wring out the dishrag or keep the bathroom sink clean, why not? Why wouldn't you do these little things if it pleases your partner? People who love and accept and respect each other sometimes do what doesn't come naturally; they do so out of love, to maintain harmony, which is good for everyone. We do these little things because they are good for the relationship. We put the relationship and love before our own tendencies. Doing things the way we do them is not more important than love. When we live with someone, being flexible and considerate in small ways yields big results: love. The ego is not cooperative and considerate; only Essence is. When we emulate Essence, we always win.

With all this talk about accepting conditioning, it is important to be clear that not all conditioned behavior should be accepted. Behavior that is abusive is not acceptable, not only because no one deserves abuse, but also because a relationship can't survive it. You don't accept abusive actions and speech from your partner because you value yourself, because abusive actions and speech are not good for your relationship, and because it's not good for your partner to be allowed to behave that way. Essence accepts, but it doesn't accept abuse because it is pro-life and pro-love. Essence doesn't allow itself to be victimized. It says no to negativity, hatred, and abuse. To do anything else is to be an accomplice to or enabler of negativity and harm.

Putting your foot down in this regard is a simple matter of stating that you won't tolerate your partner speaking to you or behaving toward you in an abusive way. Anything you or your partner have to say to each other can be stated clearly, cleanly, and without blame, anger, judgment, or criticism. It is imperative that you learn to speak to each other this way rather than in a way that creates further negativity. There are lots of books available that teach how to communicate nonviolently. It's unfortunate that this most important skill isn't taught in school.

We are here to learn love, and relationships teach this. If your relationship isn't helping you to learn love, but, instead, is fostering enmity, then you need to consider leaving it. If interactions within your relationship are overwhelmingly negative or abusive, and you are unable to turn that behavior around, then it's likely that you and your partner aren't meant to be together. If you have tried everything you can to transform the negativity within you and within your relationship and you haven't succeeded, then staying in that relationship might not be appropriate. Sometimes love means loving yourself enough to leave a negative or an abusive situation.

~ Gina Lake

7.28.2010

Ask What, Not Why

Every thought has an impact on your ascension journey. Every thought creates an outcome which reflects your energetic vibrations, level of being and dimensional placement. The challenge is to recognize which thoughts are fear-based and decrease your power, replacing them with thoughts that reflect your understanding and increase your power. When you ask 'why' you decrease your power because you see the results of your thinking as being outside of yourself and your power. But when you ask 'what' you are open to greater learning and understanding.

The many skills you have perfected in the course of your lifetimes are what you use to expand your power. Although you forget what occurs in other lifetimes on a mind level, this information is part of your life experiences, the thoughts you have and the situations you create. Your most powerful questions are 'what have I done to create this' and 'what is the purpose in this experience'. From this point you can then ask 'what is the greatest use of my power now'. The answer will lead you to the resolution, a perfect outcome and confirmation of your understanding and transformation.
The above excerpt is taken from Uriel's message Ask What Not Why from Jennifer Hoffman at Uriel Heals.

From my perspective, when we ask "why" the answer is simple: "Because you asked." We may not know how, or when, or why we asked, and it really doesn't matter. "What is the purpose of this experience?" and "What can I do now?" are better questions, because they take our attention away from the guilt, sorrow, blame, or confusion of the past and focus it instead upon positive action moving forward.

We are powerfully served by recognizing - and accepting - that our reality, both individually and globally, is affected by the thoughts that we choose to focus on. As many have been saying for years, we can't control what thoughts enter our mind, but we can control which ones we choose to focus on.

7.27.2010

Words of Encouragement

A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule 'braying' -- or whatever mules do when they fall into wells.

After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer felt sorry for the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together and told them what had happened and asked them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back: he should shake it off and step up! This is what the old mule did, blow after blow. "Shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up!" he repeated to encourage himself.

No matter how painful the blows, or distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought "panic" and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up! You guessed it! It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him, actually ended up blessing him. All because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

~ Author Unknown (Courtesy of Whisperland)
Yet another gem shared by Maja at The Smiling Soul. Thank you Maja!

Soo .. next time you are tempted to feel beaten down by circumstances, remember the old mule, then shake it off and step up!

7.22.2010

On Faith

Faith

When you come to the edge of all the light you have,
and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown,

faith is knowing one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on,
or you will be taught how to fly.

~ Patrick Overton

With thanks and appreciation to Maja at The Smiling Soul for this beautiful quote!

7.10.2010

Be Careful What You Give Your Attention To

You don't have to work at being in the high vibration that is natural to you, because it is natural to you. But you do have to stop holding the thoughts that cause you to lower your vibration.

It's a matter of no longer giving your attention to things that don't allow your cork to float or don't allow you to vibrate in harmony with who you really are.

~ Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Silver Spring, MD on Saturday, April 19th, 1997

Abraham has been saying the same things - in different ways - for a very long time. And it's as true today as it was then.

As time compresses, the buffer of time that used to protect us from our thoughts is shrinking too. Be aware and conscious of the thoughts that pass through your mind, the words that pop from your mouth, and your automatic reaction(s) to the events that surround you. Your future, my future, our future is being created on the wings of those thoughts.

So think what you think, say what you say, react how you react, then notice. In the noticing you automatically stand back from the reaction, and have the ability then, in that moment of noticing, to shift your attention away from what you don't want and toward what you do want. In so doing you will create the reality around you that you wish to experience. If that differs from what you have been told you should experience, all the better. It's your experience after all. Claim it!

7.07.2010

Finding The Hope Within You

The following message is from Veronica through April Crawford from their newsletter Inner Whispers. The message is one of encouraging us to rekindle our hope, despite how things look momentarily on a personal, community, national, international, or global level. All is well in all of creation, including right here, right now. We just need to keep reminding ourselves of that.
Often in a life one can find a moment where all the energy of creation feels like a void inside. Despair over predicaments and dramas can lead to the inability to create anything productive in a linear sense.

In times of troublesome mass consciousness the individual may simply run out of hope for a better creation with the life.

Dramas can cause blindness to the true capabilities of the soul. Each moment unfolding feeling worse than the last. It is easy to be overwhelmed with the negativity and just give up.

By doing so one merely reinforces the sense of defeat. When one believes they are overcome they will be.

By remaining steadfast to your soulful energy one can regain the hope within and overcome anything.

Be one with your soul choosing to ignore the mass energy that can become overpowering in its negativity.

Instead of getting in the mix of defeat, attempt to break out of the crowd and become individual with your thoughts. One does not have to follow the mass moments of consciousness. One is capable of creating their own stream if they are willing to be bold and just do it.

We realize how intricate physical reality is created. We also know how difficult it is to attempt to break out of the mold and be different. This is especially so at this time in your culture.

Reinvent how you think about yourself and your surroundings. Attempt to change thought patterns that have gotten you to where you are now. Somewhere deep down your hope still exists. Do not allow the exterior to rule the interior of you.

Dig deep and find yourself. Regain your grip on hope. It is a special ingredient in your reality. Add it to your thoughts and allow it to regain its foothold within you.

~ VERONICA