Does Your Happiness Depend On The Actions of Others?

Recently I received an email from a dear friend. Included in the email was a humorous, or what appeared to be humorous, commentary from a famous comedian. Perhaps I should say "used to be" humorous rather than "appeared to be" humorous because there was a time when I could appreciate a piece like this. But not now. Right now, with how I feel about life and how I hope others feel, or begin to feel, it didn't occur to me as funny at all. It was full of sentiment about how awful life is and talked in turn about all the reasons, all the people, all the groups, responsible for that feeling. The commentary came across to me as depressing and sad, and I was struck with enormous compassion for the person who wrote it, and the many many people that must be feeling the same way, since this piece seemed to be streaking it's way across the internet via attachment from friends like mine.

I responded to my friend that I was glad he found comfort in this piece, but I hoped that he could see the futility in wallowing in thoughts of self-pity and blame. It was - and is - my hope that ALL people be uplifted and invigorated by life, not defeated by it. We create our own reality. We really really really do. On a mass level, we co-create our joint reality through the additive thoughts, beliefs, and actions of each of us individually. Wallowing in blame and pity only brings more experiences that give us cause to blame and feel sorry for ourselves. That's an endless cycle, and the cycle is speeding up. At some point that cycle has to be stopped, and the only one who can stop it is each one of us.

Difficult to do? It can be. Because it means we have to give up trying to get our validation, appreciation, love, and/or energy from other people and other things. Instead we have to find those things within ourselves. It always - always - is available from within. We never need to get it from another. I was reminded of this in reading John Cali's weekly message from Spirit, which turns out to be a re-post of a message they provided two years ago. Yet it's every bit as meaningful today. May YOU be uplifted by life and not defeated by it!


In his brilliant best-selling book, Illusions, Richard Bach said "We teach best what we most need to learn." I had a minor, but painful, reminder of this recently.

John Cali

Spirit and I are forever telling people it doesn't matter what other people think or say about you, especially if it's critical or destructive. All that matters is what you think of yourself.

The details of my painful experience don't matter. What does matter is I allowed myself to get upset by a remark about my channelling from someone I love and respect. It threw me into an emotional downward spiral for about half a day.

Then I realized the remark had nothing to do with me. I also realized I had an unhealthy attachment to what this dear person thought of me. Not a good place to be at!

Here's Spirit.


We understand how easy it is for humans to become attached to the things of your physical world -- the people, the relationships, the possessions, etc.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying these things, with taking pleasure in them. But it's far too easy to cross over that line between enjoyment and attachment. This creates huge problems for so many of you. And it often throws you into "an emotional downward spiral," in John's words.

We certainly do not advocate you remove yourselves from the world around you. Nor do we want to see you abandon that world, as some of you try to do in your own particular ways.

There is no need to abandon your physical life and all the people and experiences it holds for you. In fact, you cannot abandon physical life -- it's not an option. Unless, of course, you choose to leave your physical bodies.

Friends, life on Planet Earth was intended by your higher selves to be a joyful experience. Certainly not without its challenges and opportunities for growth. But you, as your higher selves, knew there would be those challenges and opportunities -- that's one of the reasons you chose to reincarnate to begin with.

Life is a big game you've chosen to play. It's supposed to be fun. That's what games are all about -- fun!

When you remember that -- when you remember who you are -- then life becomes easy and almost effortless.

Where you often go astray is when you take life so seriously. You just drag your bodies out of bed in the morning, dreading yet another day of joyless living.

It does not have to be that way. You were never meant to be so attached to this life that it drags you down, as John described in his experience.

If you will take the time to reflect on your attachments (which are always unhealthy), you will start to see them clearly. You will realize they are robbing you of your birthright -- joy.

Joy is what it's all about. When you can find your joy within yourselves in every present moment, and know you are your only true source of joy, you will then feel such an incredible sense of relief and release. You will be free again.

Free to enjoy your lives, your relationships, your possessions. Free to enjoy them fully and passionately. But without depending on them for your happiness. Even if you lost them all, you know your true and only source of happiness is within you.

Attachment to the world around you drags you from your happiness, your joy. When you seek happiness within you will empower yourselves to create and live the most joyous, abundant lives you have ever known.

No comments: